I have always been a “black and white” kind of gal. I either agreed with someone, or I disagreed; liked something, or disliked it; cared deeply about something, or couldn’t care less.

Of course, I did have moments when I wasn’t quite so certain about things and had a hard time making up my mind. Even so, gray was not a color in my spectrum of thought. It seemed wrong to be undecided about something, or to have an in-between stance. Wasn’t there only right and wrong in the world?

But now that I am growing up, uncertainty has trickled its way more and more into my thought patterns. I don’t know what I want or need as well as I did when I was little, and I find myself doubting things that I always used to feel solid in. It is in this moment in my life that I see the opportunity for me to walk out my faith, by fully trusting God and His good plan for me and my life-even if the road ahead is obscured by fog. (Proverbs 3:5-6, Jeremiah 29:11-13)

This doubt has led me to ask myself a very important question: Do I trust God when life is uncertain? It was always so easy to say, “yes, of course!” when I felt certain about my life and what I wanted to do with it. But here, in this season of doubt and waiting, is where my faith needs to come to action.

Faith is not seen in the sunny, clear days- faith is seen when I trust God through the unknown. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Seeing is not faith. Not seeing and still trusting is faith!

When the future is unknown, that is the time when I must let go of my own plans and trust God’s perfect designs. I have to, in a sense, accept that “gray is a color”: that uncertainty and doubt are a natural part of being human, while at the same time remember that God has far more in store for me than what I can see right now.

There are many kinds of weather in life: pouring rain and brilliant sunshine; thundering storms and refreshing winds; icy winters and balmy summers; but most days aren’t quite so decisive- most are something in-between. It is those “in-between” days where it’s just gray that have been the hardest for me. It’s like the sky can’t make up its mind, just as I sometimes can’t.

But you know what? GOD has made up His mind. He did before time existed. GOD isn’t wishy-washy, indecisive, or uncertain. He is the King of the Universe, the One who created every part of me and knew everything I would do before I was born. The one who knows me and loves me and calls me His child. So why would I be worried about gray days? The One who knows all things is holding me in His hands.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your
ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

-Proverbs 3:5-6