Hyperfocus
I have ADHD. The first time I was given this diagnosis, just out of highschool, I laughed. I genuinely did not believe the doctor. You see, I wasn’t necessarily hyperactive, sure, I clicked my pens and jiggled my legs, but in school I never jumped out of my seat or talked too much out of turn, I was relatively well behaved, mostly because I was always lost in thought. On top of that I loved to read, I inhaled books. I could sit and read for hours. While I was reading nothing could distract me, I was so caught up in whatever world I was in it was hard to remember to come up for air. I thought it was common knowledge that people with ADHD couldn’t read the way I did. So, no, I did not have ADHD, thank you very much.
Fast forward a few years later and I found myself in counseling trying to put together the many pieces of my very broken life. It was during these sessions that I learned a new and life altering term: hyperfocus. Hyperfocus is a trait of ADHD, it is an intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses consciousness on a subject, topic, or task. In other words, my brain latches onto things and it can be all consuming. If I am being completely honest this is both a gift and a curse. When I can use my hyperfocus for good I can complete projects and tasks in an uncanny amount of time. I can read a book in a day, I can research a subject until even google is like, “chill.” It has helped me many times in my life. However, it is also a curse. If it doesn’t kick in it’s hard for me to get things done without being distracted by what my brain wants to do. For example, this blog post is very late and this morning when I went to write I somehow ended up reading about court cases that sovereign citizens like to indict and why they aren’t valid. There is no correlation, my brain just had a question that needed to be answered and I lost precious time. In fact, one of the main reasons I found myself in counseling that fateful day (and on multiple other occasions) is because my hyperfocus was out of control.
It was through counseling and research (hyperfocus research) that I realized I needed to safeguard my focus. Dealing with my brain often feels like dealing with a toddler in a candy store. I’ve had to learn to tell it no, to make lists, make routines, to set timers, to invite people into my life to override me and it’s been ten years and I still fail sometimes (see paragraph 2). However, when I am diligent, it is so freeing. When I am careful and I use the tools I’ve been given it is like I have a super power.
Church, it does not take an ADHD diagnosis to see that we struggle with our focus. I believe most of us want to keep God at the center. We desire the fruits of the spirit and we desire that close relationship with Him, but sometimes it feels impossible to achieve. When I look back at my own walk with God it is so full of highs and lows that I feel sick just looking at it. When I am low it feels impossible to be high and when I am high I forget that I am an alien in a hostile world that just wants to bring me low. Satan has been playing this game much longer than we have and he knows all it takes to make us fall is to make us lose focus. When we lose focus the void God intentionally created in us begins to feel empty, and when it feels empty we feel like we need to fill it, and then we have to choose between putting God back into his rightful place or looking for something else to fill the void and we fall into this cycle over and over.
The question then becomes, how do we stop the cycle? How do we keep our focus? The answer, like with my ADHD, is simple but not easy. We must implement safeguards. We need to put on our armor everyday to protect us from the fiery darts of the enemy (Ephesians 6:11-18). We need to say no to the things that we know will pull us away from God and walk in a manner worthy of the gospel (Ephesians 4:1). We need to build a relationship and know Him through reading His word and prayer (Proverbs 3:3-4). We need to die to ourselves and temptation through fasting (Isaiah 58:6). We need to preach the gospel to ourselves everyday. (Psalm 16:2) These are some of the non-negotiable safeguards to keep God in focus, but what it really comes down to is taking a hard look at ourselves and figuring out what safeguards we can put in our life to make sure we are connecting to the vine and what things are pulling our focus from Him. For example, I safeguard reading his word and praying by setting aside a time every morning to do this. If I left it to a whim, I would never do it, I am too easily distracted (See ADHD diagnosis). I also safeguard this time by putting my phone on the counter. I do not have the self control it takes to not respond to a message or to even just look at the time and not end up reading a random article. They may seem silly and unnecessary to some, but for me these are boundaries, specific to me, that I place in my life to keep my focus on Him.
I love the line from the Hymn “Come Thou Fount” which says, “Prone to Wander, LORD, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love,” It perfectly describes the human condition as we wrestle our sin nature and lose focus on God. It also gives us the perfect solution in the second line, “Here’s my heart, Oh take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.” Only God can override our wandering hearts. Only He can satisfy our souls. My encouragement today is to take that hard look at ourselves and ask God what is pulling our focus and what safeguards we can place in our lives to prevent us from wandering. Psalm 139: 23-24 says it best, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” My specific prayer today is we all find a way to hyperfocus on Him and Him alone.