Refiner – Part 8 – Horizontal Lament
- Lament is the journey of bringing our pain to God while learning to trust Him when life doesn’t make sense.
Last week we really focused on how to walk through what we called vertical lament. or how we personally walk through lament.
We talked specifically about three aspects to the pathway of lament – we said that we must
- Turn Towards God
- Tell God the Truth
- Cry out for Help and Cling to Truth
- So last week we talked about vertical lament – This week, we are talking about horizontal lament – or in other words – how do we help people that are going through the process of lament – and come along side of them and help them bear the burden.
So to start out – I would love if you would open your Bibles to the Old Testament, to the book of Job
- We will be looking specifically at Job 2:11-13
we see Job’s friends enter his suffering to help out. and it brings us to the first thing to do to help others who are suffering – and that is
Show Up
“Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw his suffering was very great.” (Job 2:11-13)
- When Job goes through the worst thing of his life – we see that he has three friends and they show up.
They go to their friend who is suffering – they show up – and they are present.
Listen More Than You Speak
Job’s friends did a good job showing up. And they even started out listening – after they were for a week Job speaks –
- Job chapter 3 records Job lifting a lament similar to what what we covered last week in the psalms – where essentially he is crying out and asking God “Why did you let this happen – if you were going to let this happen I wish you would have never let me be born –
- And this is where Job’s friends make a mistake, and spend the next thirty chapters making a mistake. They decided to give their opinions. Their Assumptions.
- They stopped listening. Instead of lovingly directing Job to God
They bludgeoned him with their opinions.
- Scripture puts it this way in James – “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)
An essential part of bearing one another’s burdens is listening.
- and before we move on – I want to give a couple practical things here – for listening well.
FIRST – listen to understand – not to respond
SECOND – listen with empathy.
Point Them to Christ
When we are with hurting people – the thing they need the most is Jesus’ presence. Jesus’ healing.
Stay with Them Through the Process
In 1 Thessalonians 5 – Paul says this – “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” (1 Thess. 5:14)